One of the leading causes of problems in a relationship is a lack of communication. Especially when it comes to feelings. So why do we find it so hard to share our emotions? And that with someone that we already share a bed, a house and even a life with? I hear so many men lament after the departure of a girlfriend, “I wish I could tell her how I feel” or “I wish I had been honest with her”. Likewise, I hear women complain that their partners shut down when the try to initiate a talk about intimate feelings. Even worse, they refuse to talk about it at all. It seems like being open with our deepest emotions is one of the last taboos when it comes to relationships, so what are the effects of this?
A Problem for Many
The refusal to open up or to speak freely with a partner is often interpreted as them not caring. The assumption is that they have nothing to say on the subject and the other party will eventually stop trying to ask. These refusals cause huge rifts in a relationship. And if emotions are not a topic that is on the table for discussion, things will only get worse from here.
What Are the Underlying Reasons?
So why is it we feel that we cannot open up? Society plays a big part in this. Men are told that showing emotion and talking about feelings is weak and for girls. They are encouraged to suck it up and get on with their lives, and the result of this is a massive failure in communication between partners in a relationship. The woman ends up feeling like she is harassing the man. Due to his unwillingness to talk, any feelings or issues remain. That leads to a massive buildup of resentment. These emotions will one day explode and led to irreparable damage. Another reason could be that men feel vulnerable. Like they could be laying themselves wide open to be hurt if they open up about their fears with their partner. They almost feel like anything they say could be used against them and instead, they just clam up and refuse to budge.
This issue is one of the most destructive forces in any relationship, especially a romantic relationship. My message to you is that talking about emotions is not weak, it is not for girls. All you are doing is showing your humanity. Your partner needs you to communicate with her . About all these issues and doing so will build a stronger relationship for you both.